Pie
by Ciega Chica
Summary: How Dean's obsession with pie led him to his special someone ;D HP/SPN crossover with HP/DW romance No explicit slash in this one folks :P *Oneshot*


This is just a thought that's been floating in my head for a short while that started with imagining Sam and Dean at a diner talking about pie. Eventually I started wondering what Dean's preferences in a date would be. Then Harry just happened to pop in and I was like, hey! I've got a oneshot here! So read please! XD

Pie:

Rhubarb, Cherry, Blackberry, Oh My!

"Alright," Dean grinned, rubbing his hands together. "This is what hunting is all about Sammy." He beamed at the waitress setting down the slice of cherry pie in front of him. Sam just stared at the "slice" which looked more like half the damn pie.

"What does pie have to do with hunting?" Sam rolled his eyes.

Dean scoffed. "It's not just a pie Sammy. This is a delicious, flaky, golden crust with sweet, whole cherry filling." Sam watched as his older, but shorter, brother's eyes widened and drool began running down his chin. He swore he could see stars in Dean's hazel eyes.

For a few minutes of silence Sam just watched Dean shovel the huge slice of pie into his mouth in half fascination, half disgust.

"I think if Jess ever saw me eat like that she'd kill me." It still hurt to think of Jess but almost a year had passed now. The nightmares and agony of the months after had been hell. It was only recently he was able to actually talk about her with a humorous tone.

Dean rolled his eyes, not showing that he'd noticed his brother's new ability to mention Jess and not cry in the same sentence. He swallowed another forkful of pie. "Yeah, well, it's not like I ever date anyone Sam. That's your department."

Sam frowned. "Why not? I mean, you can't just stay alone your whole life." Now, the younger Winchester didn't wory about his brother often but it wasn't right that Dean should just "woman-hop" is whole life. Despite having lost Jess, Sam was still willing to move on. He had loved Jess so much but he knew better than to wallow in his grief. Well, the first half of the year didn't count.

Dean lifted his eyes to stare at Sam in disbelief. "We're hunters Sammy. What part of 'dangerous demons' don't you understand? As soon as we get attached, some_thing _is gonna swoop in and destroy it got it?" Dean sighed and took a slow gulp of water.

Sam sobered but was curious about something. "Okay, but if you did get married or found a girlfriend or whatever, what would make you choose them?"

Dean frowned and leaned his cheek against his palm. Sam could tell he was really thinking hard about it. Finally, he nodded his head sharply and said "pie".

"Er, pie?"

Dean grinned. "Yup! I will only marry someone who can bake the best pie ever. Oh, and being on a generally awesome cook would be nice too."

"Oh, come on Dean! Why does everything come back to pie with you. You're completely ridiculous!"

Dean snorted. "What's the big deal? You've got your standards, I've got mine."

"Wha-? Those aren't standards. What kind of person marries by their stomach? What if she's a complete nutter? What then?"

Dean just laughed. "Anyone who can make the most delicious pie in the world cannot possibly be any less perfect than their pie." He smirked, smug and confident in his reasoning.

"God, your logic is so flawed" Sam deadpanned.

Dean laughed and hailed their pretty waitress for another slice of pie. She blushed a bright red when he slapped her butt and winked.

Seeing this, a sudden idea popped in his head. "Alright Dean," he said slowly, "How about a bet?"

Dean faced him, interested. "What kinda bet?" he asked warily.

"When you find the girl with the perfect pie, you have to date her for one month and treat her like she's not just a toy got it? Oh, and when the month is over and you still like her, then you have to marry."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Now, that's a bet you don't hear everyday" he muttered. "Okay, you're on." They shook hands over the table just as the waiter came by with Dean's second slice of pie. "Alright!" Dean dug in.

XXXXX

"Aw, just one slice mum?" Teddy whined.

Harry raised his eyes to the ceiling, extremely annoyed. "How many times do I have to tell you Teddy, I have to let it cool first."

"But muuuum"

"Teddy, you're not gonna get any at all if you keep that up." Harry warned, his vivid green eyes narrowing. Teddy gulped. He knew that look; it meant Harry was on the verge of making Teddy a very unhappy three-year old.

"Sorry mum" he muttered, staring at the suddenly captivating tile floor.

Harry hummed a little as he put the pie on the sill to cool then took Teddy's hand and led him to the table. "Sit for now okay? I'm gonna start on dinner."

"Ok." He wiggled in the chair and grabbed his crayons and coloring book. For awhile there were just the sounds of pots banging and Teddy's crayons scratching. But then Teddy saw something that made his eyes bug and he shouted "Mum, someone's stealing the pie!"

Harry whipped around and stared at the empty window sill in shock. He dashed to it at the same time Teddy did, both trying to peer out and see the culprit. Infuriated, Harry flew to the front door and across the lawn after the man sprinting away down the street.

"Get back here you pie snatching crazy person!" he screamed.

The man glanced back and started. "Oh, shit!" he yelped when he saw the rapidly approaching angry gal behind him. He put on a burst of speed, the pie held out in front of him. Harry was oddly reminded of a cartoon chase or clowns in a circus.

But then the crazy guy put on a burst of speed and pulled further and further ahead. Harry screamed curses at him but came to a stop at last, breathing hard. Crazy guy turned and ran backwards, grinning at Harry.

"What? Can't keep up?" he snickered. Harry growled and leaped at him but the guy was quicker. "Oops, too slow" he jeered.

"You-you-" Harry could barely speak he was so angry. "Give me my pie you creep." He tried to reach up and grab it since the man was holding it up out of reach. Harry only came up to his shoulder so he had to stand on his tip toes to even graze the pie dish. He jumped and tried to snatch it down but the man just laughed.

"Jeez, you're short; haven't you ever heard of milk?"

Harry's knuckles turned white from clenching so hard. What a rude jerk! No one got away with making fun of Harry's height; no one!

XXXXX

Dean smirked at the shorter woman. He couldn't help but admire her as she pressed her body against his. Her black hair looked natural and her green eyes were more vivid than any he'd ever seen before. There was a simple gold stud in the upper curve of her right ear and she wore not a hint of makeup.

He glanced further down, noticing her fists turning white. She looked like she was gonna sock him any second now. Dean grimaced but got a sudden idea. Inwardly laughing, he dived down and kissed her full on the lips. If it weren't for the damn pie, Dean would've put his hands on her hips but settled with supporting his elbows on her shoulders.

Dean's lips moved insistently against hers, loving the soft, pliant flesh. Usually Dean would just force his way in with his tongue but he felt surprisingly against that. He actually didn't want to hurt this girl.

The kiss lasted quite awhile before she broke out of her daze and pushed him away. Both of them, however, had completely forgotten about the pie, which fate decided to drop on the girl's head. As if in slow motion, it splattered, red filling oozing into her hair and smearing across her face. It almost appeared like some ancient horror movie's fake blood.

Dean laughed at her horrified expression. Completely nonchalant, he swiped a finger through the sticky mess and stuck it in his mouth. The death stare directed at him didn't bother him one iota. Nope, not a bit. But then the most amazing thing happened.

"Holy crap" he whispered, staring at his wet finger. He could feel his tongue tingling with the perfect balance of sweet and smooth still. That filling had been absolutely perfect! Dean grabbed a piece of flaky crust between his thumb and forefinger, popping it into his mouth.

"Mmm, oh god, how can there be anything that tastes this damn good" he groaned. He swore he was becoming hard from the simple sensation. When he opened his eyes he saw the girl staring at him in shock and...was that arousal? Her pupils were dilated and her delectable mouth hung open.

Once again, he couldn't help himself and captured her mouth again, but this time she responded back. Her mouth moved while her arms curled around his neck. Dean moaned and wondered if it were possible to taste something so sweet and not die from the overload.

Once again, they disconnected and stared at each other. The girl looked extremely confused, her button nose wrinkled cutely. Dean kissed it softly causing her to blush. There was a strange feeling in his chest like something was gradually squeezing it harder and harder.

"So, uh, what's your name?" he asked, recovering enough to offer his infamous crooked smile. The girls couldn't help but go all gooey over it. He was completely blown away at her response though.

"None of your business" she snapped. "That pie was for dessert tonight you creep so I demand you pay me for it."

Dumbfounded, Dean echoed "Pay for it?" as if it were a foreign concept. How come his strategic grin hadn't worked?

She rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. "Of course pay for it. Pies cost money to make you know and with the price of blackberries nowadays I demand restitution."

"Well, uh, can't you just put it on my tab?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck bemusedly.

She hit him on the shoulder, hard. "Hmph, what kinda fool do you take me for. Now cough up the money" she ordered, holding her hand out, palm up.

Dean grimaced and tensed, ready to run. "Well, I don't exactly have any money on me right now" he admitted, hoping she'd leave it at that and let him go. No such luck though.

"Tch, I'll figure something out. Come on." She grabbed his hand and marched him back to her house. Dean yelped.

"Jeez woman, lay off. I kinda need that hand y'know?" She stopped, staring at him confused for a moment.

"Excuse me?"Dean wondered what he'd said to deserve a glare like that.

"Uh, y'know, could you not pull so hard?" He shrugged.

"No you idiot," she hit him over the head causing him to yelp and duck and cover. "I am a man. M-A-N. Man. Can't you see I don't have breasts?" she, wait, he spat.

Dean was momentarily stunned. "Come again?" Just out of curiosity, he glanced at her chest and realized she/he was right. No soft mounds; not even tiny ones. He hadn't seen that one coming. Then he realized something.

"Wait a minute...I kissed a guy...twice!" he yelped, counting with his fingertips.

The girl-now-boy rolled his eyes. "Wow, you really are an idiot. Come on. Oh, and by the way, my name is Harry, kind of a common name in Britain."

Dean cast about for something to say to this. "Well, er, it's a uh, very nice name." He winced at how insincere he sounded. "I'm Dean by the way."

Again, Harry rolled his eyes, his pretty green, emerald eyes... Dean shook himself. What the heck was he doing? Harry wasn't a girl. Why was he still eying him up like candy in sweet shop? Maybe it was the sticky pie still on his head? Hmm, something else sticky would look nice there too...maybe even being swallowed by Harry...

Dean gulped, feeling himself hardening again. Inwardly, he groaned. Harry's house was coming closer and closer and Dean definitely didn't want anyone else to see him in this condition. Though, he had to admit the house was pretty nice. It was a split* with red brick on the bottom and a blue stucco on top. The windows looked kinda old but there were nice white curtains in each. The door looked like solid oak.

"Nice place" he whistled sharply, impressed. He'd always hid a tiny liking for splits. He'd always imagined that if he ever settled down—quite unlikely—it would be in a split level house.

Harry glanced back at him, surprised. "Er, thanks" he said. He looked a little embarrassed. As they walked up the path, Dean noticed the door was open and a little kid with light brown hair stood there. He couldn't be no older than four and he was watching them curiously.

"Mummy, where's the pie?" were the first words out of the kid's mouth. Though Dean certainly couldn't blame him if all Harry's pies tasted like the last one.

Harry sighed. "I'll have to bake another one tomorrow Teddy. Dean here got to it first." He jabbed his thumb in Dean's direction who smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry kid" he apologized when he saw the boy's downtrodden look.

"Aaw" he whined. "I wanted pie tonight mummy."

"Well, that's just too bad. Guess spaghetti and salad will have to do."

"Hey, uh, quick question. He does know you're a guy right? Ouch!" Dean yelped and rubbed his shoulder. "Jeez, you pack a punch" he grumbled.

As they crossed the threshold, the kid, Teddy, Dean reminded himself, suddenly noticed something that hadn't been on his mommy's head before he'd left the house. He innocently asked "Mummy, why's the pie on your head."

Harry's face twisted into an impressive scowl. Dean was vaguely reminded of a thundercloud. He stalked into the kitchen, Dean following behind. Teddy scampered ahead to climb into a chair at the dining table. Crayons, markers, and paper were scattered over the surface. A pile of them were already scribbled on. Dean could make out some stick figures and what could be the sun but he wasn't really sure.

"Go ahead and sit down Dean. I'm going to go get a towel and some shampoo." He left the room, leaving Teddy to stare at their guest curiously.

Finally, he said "I don't blame you for stealing mum's pie. He makes the best in the universe. Auntie Erminnie's always telling him he should open a shop."

"Yeah?" Dean's eyebrows rose. "How do you know his is the best?"

"Oh, that's easy! Witch Weekly had a contest a couple o' months ago and he won, hands down" he grinned proudly. Unfortunately for Teddy, Dean was a hunter and didn't think the word "witch" should be said so innocently. Said hunter immediately sprang to his feet.

"Your mom's a witch?" he snapped, tense.

Teddy just looked confused. "Um, well I suppose, but usually the girls are the witches. Mum tells me that boys are called wizards."

Dean grimaced and took his salt round-filled gun from his waistband. Teddy watched him, lighting up at the sight of the metal gun. "Wow, you have a gun? Bang bang" he cheered, copying a move he'd seen on the telly.

Just then Harry walked back into the kitchen and saw the weapon. "What are you doing?" he yelled, diving between Dean and Teddy. He slapped Dean's hand. "Are you an idiot? You don't point guns at children you creep!" he screamed frantically.

But Dean ignored him. He was currently more concerned that the guy with the awesome pie was an evil demon worshiping bastard. "Are the both of you witches? How could you involve a child dammit. What demon do you serve bitch?" Dean snarled, pressing the gun to Harry's chest.

Harry froze at the questions, vivid green eyes wide. He swallowed. "You-you are a hunter?" he whispered. Dean looked closer and could tell the boy was trembling. Dean's eyes narrowed. He'd never seen that kind of reaction in a witch before and certainly not in anything else supernatural. It was usually attack or runaway, but more often than not, attack.

"Shut up" he snapped, cocking the gun. Harry flinched. Dean noticed his fists were turning white from how hard he was clenching them. Deciding it was better to have back up, Dean flipped open his phone and speed dialed Sam.

It only rang twice before Sam picked up. "Dean? Where are you? You've been gone for like two hours. You said you were just going to the 7/11 down the street. Don't tell me some chick distracted-"

Irritated with his brother's raving, Dean growled "Shut up Sam. I've captured a witch but I need you to read the damn chant to exorcise him so get your psychic butt over here."

"Wait, I'm not-" Harry tried to say.

"I said shut up!" Dean yelled.

"Dean? What the heck is going on?" Sam yelled, sounding panicked on the other end.

"The address is 1780 Willow Way, a couple blocks from the 7/11" he explained shortly.

"Alright Dean, I'll be there soon" Sam sighed, knowing it was futile to argue with his brother.

"You, in there" he motioned to the family room seen over the low wall that separated it from the kitchen. Harry gulped and quickly gathered a confused Teddy in his arms. Dean marched them to the family room where he had them sit on the couch while his gun remained trained on them.

"Dean, please let me explain" Harry whispered as if afraid any louder would set Dean off. Dean said nothing so Harry continued. "I don't worship demons. My abilities are completely natural. I was born with them. You can't just 'exorcise' them. They're apart of me; you'll kill me" he pleaded.

Dean snorted. "Don't try that type of shit witch. We're just gonna wait until my brother gets here got it?" He ignored the inner voice screaming at him not to dull those beautiful eyes, to dirty that lovely tanned skin with blood, to kill the one who'd made that amazing pie... Dean mentally shook his head. Despite how delicious that blackberry pie had been... Oh jeez, if there was one thing that aroused Dean it was pie and people who make pie. But he couldn't just sleep with a witch!

About fifteen minutes later the front door opened and Sam entered the silent house. "Dean?" he called.

"In here!"

Sam followed his older brother's voice, looking a little surprised when he saw who Dean was holding hostage. "I'm going to assume the girl is the witch, but what about the kid?" he asked as he began flipping through a very thick leather tome.

"Dunno" Dean shrugged. "You a witch kid?" Dean lazily asked.

"Umm..."

"No, no he has nothing to do with this" Harry quickly interrupted. Sam paused in turning a page and looked up, a deep frown on his face.

"Dean, are you sure about this? I mean, she doesn't sound like any witch we've ever met before."

Despite himself, Dean found himself hesitating. Harry really did look afraid. All the witches he'd ever met would've been calling on their demon by now to pound them into the dust. His hand relaxed slightly.

"What's going on mum?" Teddy interrupted, confused by the serious atmoshpere. He hopped off the couch. "You don't read Witch Weekly Mr. Dean?" Teddy asked, tugging on his coat.

"Er..."

"Is that what this is about? Teddy, you know what I've told you about mentioning things like that to muggles" Harry scolded.

Teddy grumbled. "I don't see why not. I mean, my friends think it's cool."

"You've told your friends?" Harry screeched. This was definitely not his day. First, his pie was ruined, second, he got held at gunpoint by a hunter, and third, everyone apparently knew their secret. "That's it Teddy, go to your room and don't come out until I come up to get you. I want you to think about your actions young man."

"But mum!" Teddy protested.

"Now."

Teddy grumbled and sulkily left the room. They could hear him stomping up the stairs and finally, a door slamming shut. Harry sighed and collapsed onto the couch again. He put his head in his hands, muttering under his breath.

Sam snorted. "I think its safe now to say she's not a witch Dean."

Dean gave him a deadpan stare, gun held loosely at his side now. "I think it's also safe to say that she is a he" he smirked slightly.

Sam blinked. "Wha-oh." His eyes widened and he grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."

Harry wearily shook his head. "It's no problem. I suppose I should just start expecting it now. My name is Harry Potter by the way." He got up and held his hand out. Sam shook it, grinning suddenly.

Harry later on figured he should've been expecting the next question in the long list he'd gotten already today but he stupidly forgot Murphy's Law.

"So what's with the pie in your hair?"

The evil glare on Harry's face shut Sam up immediately. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go _finally_ wash my hair." He stomped out of the room, and a few seconds later they heard the sink turn on, the sounds of swishing water filling the room.

Sam turned to Dean, a sly smirk on his face. "So what's with the pie?" Dean gulped, nervous from the mischievous glint in his brother's eye.

"Well, ha ha, it's real funny actually...uh, see, when I was walking to the 7/11 I smelled something reeeally good." In memory of that delicious treat, Dean started to drool.

"Dean? Dean?" Sam snapped his fingers in front of his brother's face. "Snap out of it Dean. Jeez, this must've been some pie" he snickered.

Dean flushed. "Er, yeah, I followed the smell here and saw it just sitting on the windowsill. It was calling me Sammy. Seriously!" he yelped when Sam started laughing.

He wiped a tear from his eye. "You are so obsessed Dean. I mean, come on, now you've resorted to stealing pies?" Dean grumbled. "So how did it get on his head?"

"First off, it was a complete accident. He was trying to catch me. I distracted him with a kiss, but then the pie slipped and fell on his head. Simple." Then a dreamy smile spread across Dean's face. "I think Harry was as delicious as the pie though."

"Hmm, and would you say that this pie is the most delicious you've ever tasted?" Sam asked with an innocent expression. Dean didn't notice, too wrapped up in his dreamworld of Harry and pie.

"Definitely."

"Great!" Sam clapped his hand enthusiastically then rubbed them together gleefully. "Then you have to seriously date him for a month."

"Yeah...wait, what?"

"Don't you remember our bet Dean? Whoever bakes the best pie is the one you have to date for a month."

Dean's incredulous stare didn't faze Sam one bit. "Are you kidding Sam? We're hunters, nomads, never in one place twice for long. How do I stick around to date someone long enough?"

"Come on Dean, just for a month" Sam wheedled. "We can stay in a motel or something."

"You're welcome to stay here."

The brother's turned to see Harry standing at the entrance to the family room, toweling his hair. "I don't mind and I bet Teddy would like the company."

Dean glanced nervously at Sam. "Did you hear the rest of the conversation?"

Harry blinked, then narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "No, should I have?" he asked.

"No, no, not at all" Dean grinned, relieved. Dean noticed Harry looked shocked for a moment and then his face went completely red. The older hunter was confused by the sudden reaction, but then he realized that he was grinning "that smile". His patented "swooning-girl smile". Which meant Harry was not immune to his charms. He chuckled, plans forming in his head like dancing visions of gumdrops and sugarcane.

So of course Dean couldn't say no. Not now that he could see Harry was obviously attracted to him. His forest green eyes met his brother's hazel ones and smirked. Yeah, wooing Harry would be way to good an opportunity to miss. Sam chuckled, easily reading his brother's thoughts, gave Dean a meaningful stare. He'd better get a really nice present out of this for bringing the two together. Maybe some of that pie would do the trick...

The End

A/N: I'm planning a sequel and there might be more after that because I'd like to do the month of dating then the wedding then maybe a couple of babies afterwards. There won't be any sex during the dating. I may write sex before marriage, but that doesn't mean I believe in it. I also just don't think it fits in with this ficlet. They'll be virgins (or at least Harry will) on the wedding night. I'm not sure if any demons will be involved. As hunters, I understand that they can't stick around with Harry forever. Most of the action will occur in the wedding sequence such as demons and John. Aw, the dreaded father-in-law. Well, I hoped you liked it! Look for the sequel coming soon! (Hopefully X3)

*Just as a side note. Harry doesn't know their last name yet. That'll be in the sequel (either as a flashback or present time). Not sure yet.


End file.
